I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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