you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We don't watch enough power rangers
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
