Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
