I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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