We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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