She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
