Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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