I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
