Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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