just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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