found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize