Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
