Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
