Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
be right there i have to get my cape
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
