i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize