Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
