Say something about gay babies.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
