all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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