So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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