I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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