So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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