Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
This baby is an asshole
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
