When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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