Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
