how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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