Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
