I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
