I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize