didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
