Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
