her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
