it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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