this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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