You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
