dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
