Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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