Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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