needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize