The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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