A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
