I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
