I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
