I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Of course I have a pirate flag
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
