Moan for me like Helen Keller
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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