absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
