Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
