i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
