I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
