what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
