There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
