you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
