: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
