I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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