Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize