it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize