Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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