brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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