i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
