if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
