I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
