He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
