OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She's the barista slut.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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