So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
