By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
