I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
