Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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