Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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