You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
