I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
