when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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