Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize