well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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