let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
