he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize