TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Bring me that man meat
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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