i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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