at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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