Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
It was confusing and full of hummus
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
