Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
