thus making me awesome and them whores
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I need water and some morals
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
