it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize