Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
