Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize