Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
