i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
