Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
