I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
