I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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