so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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