Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
