So drunk its hurt
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
